Looking For Fantasy Island?
When I did my coach training, I learned about the island where it all turns out. It’s a mythical place that promises all will be well in our world once we get there. It stung to hear of it when I realized I’d spent so much of my life aiming toward one. Here are some of mine:
When I get to college
When I graduate from college
When I land my first grown-up job
When I get the promotion
When I get a new job
When I get my MBA
When I get a better job
When I finally make six figures
When I leave this city
When I buy a condo
When I meet “the one”
When I get married
When I leave the corporate world
When I start my coaching career
When I make six figures again
When I move to Paso Robles
Etc. etc. etc.
And it’s a trap of always looking for the next thing. In my experience, once you get to your island (and maybe after a brief happy dance), you quickly identify the next island.
The prevailing cultural narrative is things will be great once we get THERE (because it’s never HERE), and THEN we can be happy, successful, have enough, feel confident, enjoy our life, relax (insert what you’re dreaming of here).
I see this in the people around me, clients, and friends. I hear things like:
Once I have X amount saved, then I can leave this soul-sucking job and look for a new career
When I get the book published, my work will take off
Once things slow down at work, I’ll travel more
No judgment on any of these; you saw my own list!
Now I’m a fan of dreaming big, setting goals, and going all-in after what we want. The challenge is not to turn the future state we desire into an island where it all turns out and to ensure that we don’t miss out on the joy in the place we are today. How do we do this?
Option 1: Think back on your life. Can you identify some of the islands you dreamed of? Can you see that you’re already living on an island where it all turned out?
Option 2: I know I sound like a broken record on this one, but a daily gratitude practice that includes writing down the things you’re grateful for in the moment continues to be the best antidote to living in the future.
Option 3: Ponder this question at the end of your day: One way I enjoyed the island I’m living on today was _______. Write down your answers in a journal (online or old school). This daily practice will help cultivate your actions and awareness towards living in the present.
I’d love to hear your thoughts on this topic. Here’s to loving whatever island you’re on!