Where Am I Rejecting Help?

I first heard the term Help Rejecting Complainer when therapist and author Lori Gottlieb was interviewed on Ryan Holiday’s The Daily Stoic Podcast (which I highly recommend). They're people who complain but aren't open to receiving help.

I'm no therapist. But as a coach, I sometimes see help rejecting complaining from clients and potential clients. It sounds like:

*Resignation: That's just the way it is.

*Victimization: It's all their fault.

*Procrastination: I'll wait.

*Avoidance: What problem?

*Resistance: This will be hard and uncomfortable, so I'm not doing it.

*Fear: I've tried things in the past and didn't get the result I wanted, and I don't want to feel that way again.

*Magical Thinking: Somehow, things will be different even if I don't do anything different.

I know these examples so well because, at some point, I've displayed every single one of them. I've learned (usually the hard way) that it's OK to ask for and receive help. At times, getting help has been the only way forward.

I keep asking myself, where am I rejecting help?

How about you? Is there a problem? Does it feel insurmountable? Have you been experiencing it for a long time?

Maybe now's the time to get some help.