Simple Steps to Setting Boundaries
Lately, as many of us return to "business as usual" coming out of COVID-19 lockdowns and restrictions, it's as if the floodgates have opened on business opportunities and social invitations. And based on what I'm hearing from clients, colleagues, and friends, there's a real need to revisit how to set boundaries.
So if you're wondering:
How to say no to new business when we're already at maximum capacity.
How to protect your time and energy so that you don't get burned out.
How to avoid getting sucked back into the kinds of social events that don't feel fulfilling.
Here's a simple process to experiment with to build (or rebuild) your boundary setting muscles:
Decide on what you really want. Before taking any action, get clear on what you really want. If you're not sure, give yourself some time. Still not sure? Contemplate this during a walk, ask a friend or trusted advisor to be a sounding board as you talk it out, or journal on the question "what I really want in this situation is_____?" to help you gain clarity.
Communicate it clearly with no justification or excuses. "Thanks for the invitation. I'm committed to something else on that day and time," "I appreciate the invite, but I'm limiting travel for the rest of the year" or "I'd love to do that, but the timing isn't right" are examples of how to keep it short and sweet.
Hold firm to your decision. Prepare to receive pressure from others (especially family and dear friends) and don't revisit the decision. Stating things like "I've already given this a great deal of thought, and it's just not going to work for me" will shut down further debate.
Simple, yes. Easy, not so much. But it does get easier with practice. And over time, you'll gain the reputation as someone who says no and sets boundaries. People will either respect you or be jealous. Either way, you'll be good living life on your terms.